Mistakes: Is There Such a Thing?

Summary

When was the last time you made a mistake? Was it a doozy? Who knew about it? What self-talk did you engage in to work yourself through the aftermath? What if I were to tell you that there is a different, more healthy, progressive, and useful way to both think of mistakes and use the information from them for a greater good? Interested? Me too.

In this blog we will discuss the theory and philosophy of mistakes, where they come from, and key elements that might just change your viewpoint on mistakes from this point forward.

What is a Mistake?

According to dictonary.com a mistake is an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc. Further, it goes on to say a mistake is also a misunderstanding or misconception. Ok, so let’s break that down a wee bit and say it another way; a mistake is an error caused by an action. Let’s go a little deeper before we move on. An error is defined as: a deviation from accuracy or correctness. So, we could then say a mistake is a deviation caused by an action. Right, now that we’ve got the quasi-academic portion established, we can use this for the remainder of the blog.

Is There Even Such a Thing as a Mistake?

What if I were to say to you that there is no such thing as a mistake? How does that land? I recall the first time it was said to me during a class for my iPEC coach training and I literally laughed out loud. It was more of an indignant snort-cough-laugh if I’m being fully honest. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing as my mind flashed to a plethora of mistakes that I and my team members on the project I was managing at the time had made that very week. “This should be interesting. I can’t wait to hear this” was what I was thinking. Then they provided the rationale, and I had an epiphany-lightbulb-aha moment all in one, and I’d like to share this with you:

A mistake is a label we put on something after we know what happened

You might be considering a response something along the lines of, ‘Come on Gary, that seems a bit simplistic and lazy, don’t you think?’ And I wouldn’t blame you. However, read it again and consider the following:

• When do you know a mistake has happened?
  • Before it happened?
  • During the action that is causing the deviation from what was intended?
  • After it happened?

Now, in each circumstance or situation you might have some up-front or real-time apprehension and misgivings about parts or all of it, which in the fullness of time might give you cause to say a version of “I told you this was a mistake”. However, a negative gut feeling about something doesn’t necessarily or automatically manifest into a mistake. What it certainly does give you is some self-awarded moral high ground to pontificate to someone else once you’ve seen the whole situation play out.

I would pose to you that there is no such thing as a mistake and stand by the statement above in that a mistake is a label we place on part or all of an outcome after we know how it all unfolded.

Redefining – If it Isn’t a Mistake, Then What is it?

If you accept that there is no such thing as a mistake, then what do we do about the actions that people take that contribute to or cause the deviation; what are those? I believe this is when we bring intention into the mix:

• If someone knowingly and intentionally takes an action that causes a deviation from what was originally envisioned, then what we’re talking about here is sabotage or some other form of malicious behaviour. That isn’t a mistake. The outcomes of such an action are entirely intentional and most likely desired
• If someone unknowingly and unintentionally takes an action that causes a deviation from what was originally anticipated, then we’re dealing with competence and capacity. This is where you need to consider whether they were adequately trained, experienced, qualified, and in the right physical and mental capacity to perform the tasks. Once you have the answers to those, you will know that it wasn’t a mistake, and you now have information to course correct in the future

Don’t get hung up on the labeling or naming the action that led to the deviation. I would encourage you to think more expansively on the steps that led to the deviation, focus less on looking for someone to blame, and expend your energy to work towards resolution and process improvement in the future.

So what? Why is This Important?

Good questions, and I’m glad you asked. Let’s talk about reaction. Consider how you respond to mistakes, both your own and others’:

• Your mistakes:
  • Are you wholly tolerant of your mistakes?
  • What form of self-talk to you engage in when you’ve made a mistake?
  • Do you think more or less of yourself as a result of the mistake?
  • You didn’t mean it, so no big deal, correct?
• Other’s mistakes:
  • How much understanding and forgiveness do you give to others when you’re dealing with the aftermath of a mistake that was caused by them?
  • What do you think?
  • What do you say?
  • How does it affect your opinion of the other person?
  • What impacts does it have to your relationship?

Chances are you have experienced circumstances where you haven’t been at your most tolerant, kind, or courteous when it comes to reacting to mistakes, regardless of who made them. Reframing your thought process relating to circumstances involved in mistakes provides an opportunity to think about things differently, thus feel differently about them, leading to a more choice-based reaction to them.

Perception

Mistakes are often seen as failures or negative and can lead to fear-based thoughts and behaviours, such as fear of:

• Making a mistake
• Having your mistake discovered
• Reputational damage
• Being judged as a failure
• Losing your job, home, partner, etc.

All of these can impact your own personal development and growth.

Conversely, if you perceive a mistake in a less-negative context, you can help build resilience, self-compassion, and self-care to move forward.

A Mistake-Friendly Culture

We often hear of organizations promoting or encouraging ‘failing fast’. In this context failure is expected, encouraged even, and is celebrated for the experience and information that is gained. Could this be the foundation for considering a mistake-friendly culture or environment in an organization? Revamping attitudes to mistakes could provide the following benefits:

• Psychological safety in a creative and supportive culture
• Embracing the process and learning from the outcomes
• Encouraging open communication and feedback
• Regular reflection sessions to extract lessons learned

We are exposed to so much useful and meaningful data that can help us learn at deeper levels than we do today. Increasing awareness around rich information that can be accessed through viewing mistakes in a different context would be one such data set that may provide introspection and competitive advantage if used correctly.

Opportunity Knocks

Considering mistakes in a more realistic context helps unlock a new way to extract learnings from the resultant circumstances. What if we viewed them as valuable feedback and learning opportunities? Mistakes are most definitely opportunities for personal and professional growth and learning. They can:

• Help lead us to new insights and discoveries that we might not have considered
• Expose options for innovation and creativity, sparking new ideas and/or different approaches
• Provide practical opportunities for shifting our perspective
• Encourage self-reflection and introspection

Our own perspective and mindset towards the process of working towards the mistake will either hinder or enhance our opportunities for growth. The great thing is that you get to choose.

Gaz Challenge: Reflect on your own experiences with mistakes; how did you use them to help fuel your growth? If you didn’t, that’s ok. The question now is how will you use information from mistakes going forward? If you need some help figuring it out, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. Good luck!

I’m always open to a conversation on your thoughts, opinions, and experiences on this or any topic in the library. Get in touch by subscribing below, or by using the form on the Book Gary of the site.