5 Tips to Communicate Better

Summary

Communicating effectively is an art. When I hear someone described as a ‘good communicator’ I’m beyond curious as to what that means to them, and when I dig further, it typically ends up the person is describing their own communication preferences that are packaged and delivered from another source. This is because effective communication means different things to different people, and even then, it isn’t wholly consistent within that person. Knowing this starts to peel at the layers of complexity, nuance, preference, and importance of understanding what effective communication is and is not; for you and whomever you’re engaging in communications with. In this blog we’ll start to explore forms of communications, difficulties encountered when communicating, the impacts of ineffective communications, and we’ll finish with highlighting some key fundamentals that you could consider starting with to solidify your consistent communications approach and brand. Firstly, let’s begin with where I think it all started for me…

Background

A vivid memory I have of the blur that was my primary and high school life was sitting one night, most likely the night before a homework assignment was due, staring at a blank piece of paper and wondering what the hell I was going to write on this thing to hand in the next day. The assignment details were vague (now, I realize, most likely to provoke creative thinking to generate expansive ideas, but at the time I assumed it was just another evil plot by the teacher to sabotage my classmates and me), but I recall having to pick a topic and provide a ‘critical evaluation’ of said topic. “Ok,” little Gary said to himself, “What should I write about?”

I wracked my brains a wee bit more and was scanning my parents’ living room, in search of inspiration and happened upon their dial phone (young people, Google it) sitting on our side table. At this point it became plainly obvious as to what I should do – I should phone my pals and head out for the day/night and forget all about this stupid assignment that I’ll never remember again in my life. But that isn’t what happened. I kept staring at the phone and I then had the Eureka! moment I was waiting for when the title of my assignment came to me like a gift from somewhere divine – Communication!

I wrote about different types of human communication, how communication happens, and I even recall revealing to my teacher that even animals communicate with each other! Yes, I was on a creative roll. This blog summary does not end with me obtaining top marks or any form of literary kudos that I can recall. I have no recollection of how it was received, but I do remember how enthusiastic I became the more I thought about the subject matter, and the more possibilities that opened for me in terms of where I could take it. This was the first time in my life that I recall enjoying writing about anything, yet I had no idea why.

Fast forward to today. When I reflect on some of the most enjoyable periods of my life, personally or professionally, I now realize that a lot of the reasoning behind the enjoyment was that clear and effective communication was involved. It worked for who and where I was in my life, and for who was in my circle.

In this blog I’ll be writing about communication as a general theme, including some barriers, challenges, and difficulties I have experienced on my journey. I’ll concentrate on human communication and will leave communication with any other being to someone else who knows more about that than I do. This is the first time that communication is the main topic of my blog, and I suspect it won’t be the last.

Forms of Communication

I can’t remember all the topics I wrote about on that school assignment all those years ago, but what I started to realize was that communication truly is a fundamental aspect of human interaction. It enables the exchange of information and can be in a variety of forms, each with its own unique characteristics and modes of expression (both from the sender and the receiver). To start our journey, below are some of the main forms of communication:

• Verbal: Involving the use of spoken words or sounds to convey your message. It can include real-time in-person conversations, phone calls, speeches, lectures, and presentations. Verbal communication can also include ‘on demand’ access (after the initial event took place) to the verbal material via recordings, videos, and podcasts. In-person would allow for immediate reception, feedback, and clarification, whereas consuming the content afterwards would delay these important factors. Successful verbal communications involve the requirement for the recipient to be actively listening (a whole other topic in and of itself)
• Nonverbal: Conveying meaning and understanding without the use of verbal communication. Nonverbal would include body language, facial expressions, gestures, postures, eye contact, and touch. Nonverbal cues can complement and reinforce verbal messages, providing additional context and emotional expression
• Visual: Relies on visual elements to deliver information. Visual communication can encompass the use of images, photographs, illustrations, diagrams, charts, graphs, maps, symbols, and signs, and can be particularly effective in situations where language barriers exist or when complex data needs to be simplified
• Written: The use of written words to convey messages, including various forms of written expression such as letters, memos, reports, articles, books, manuals, emails, text and chat messages, and social media posts. It’s important to appreciate that written communication provides a permanent record of what was said. Once you put it out there, it’s out there
• Electronic: In addition to the medias mentioned in written communication (above), this medium will also include tools and systems facilitating global connectivity and information exchange, such as video conferencing and collaboration platforms
• Interpersonal: Information transactions exchanges between individuals involving the exchange of thoughts, feelings, and information through verbal and nonverbal means. It can be in-person or via any of the communications methods listed above
• Mass: The one-to-many transmission of messages to a large audience through media channels, including television, cinema, radio, newspapers, magazines, websites, social media, podcasts, and advertising

Most forms of communication intersect and (ideally) complement each other, allowing us to choose the most suitable method to help deliver the message we need to deliver. Effective communication involves understanding the nuances of each form and selecting the appropriate media to convey messages in the way they are intended to be received.

Ok, why is communication so difficult then?

Great question, and one that should be acknowledged to be intertwined with human, technology, geographical, circumstantial, and situational influences. At a high level, communication can be difficult for a variety of reasons:

• Misinterpretation: To get a bit ‘sciencey’ (not a word), communication involves collating and packaging information into a message, transmitting it, and having it received and decoded by the recipient. During this process, there are lots of opportunities for misinterpretation to enter the fray. Challenges to appropriate interpretation can include:
  • Using unclear or confusing data
  • Employing inappropriate media
  • Misreading or mishearing
  • Personal biases or assumptions
  • Language
  • Cultural backgrounds
  • Individual perspectives
• Noise and Distractions: Disruption by physical or psychological noise can distort or destroy communication efforts. Physical noise and distractions include external factors such as:
  • Loud environments
  • Poor audio quality
  • Visual distractions

Psychological noise and distractions refer to internal distractions like:

• • Person biases
  • Assumptions
  • Belief systems / limiting beliefs
  • Emotional states (both for the sender and receiver)
  • Multitasking

• Lack of Clarity: Effective communication requires clarity in expressing ideas, thoughts, and intentions. If a message is vague, ambiguous, poorly structured, or inappropriately delivered it can lead to confusion and misunderstanding. This is also true in the use of acronyms, jargon, technical terms, or complex language
• Emotional Barriers: Emotions are in play for all communications. Emotions such as anger, fear, stress, euphoria, amusement, under and over-confidence can impact message delivery or reception. Emotional responses can be defensive or aggressive, leading to the shutting down of effective communication channels and hindering understanding
• Cultural and Language Differences: Different cultures have distinct communication styles, norms, and expectations. Language barriers, including differences in vocabulary, grammar, or accents, can pose challenges in cross-cultural communication
• Listening: Active listening involves fully concentrating on and engaging with the communicator’s message. In today’s busy world, with the presence of so many digital, physical, and psychological distractions, it is easier than ever to struggle to truly listen, however less than full attention to listening will lead to incomplete comprehension
• Power Dynamics: Real or perceived power imbalances or hierarchical structures can impede communications. If communicating with someone ‘in power’, you may feel hesitant to fully express your opinions, concerns, or feedback due to fear of repercussions or a perceived lack of authority. Not truly understanding the power dynamics, and setting the communications framework to suit the levels involved can lead to withheld information and/or limited collaboration
• Technology: Technology has made communication more accessible but has also introduced challenges. Consider a time when you have communicated through a digital platform intending your message to be received one way, and due to the lack nonverbal cues, emotional inflection, intention, or an inability to properly establish rapport, your message was received very differently than intended. I’m confident in saying that it’s happened to all of us at some point

Awareness of the potential barriers is key. Overcoming these challenges requires an understanding of the nuances of the communication you’re expecting to have, then applying reality to the messaging, recipients, intended outcomes, potential barriers, and logistics. Communication It isn’t easy, and it won’t always go smoothly, but a higher success rate of your communications landing as intended is possible by investing time and energy into your planning and execution.

What happens when communications go sideways?

Consider a time in your life where you’ve experienced, been responsible for, observed, or been on the receiving end of catastrophic breakdowns in communication. Not very fun, was it? Inappropriate communication can:

• Cost a lot of money (in terms of time wasted, focus lost, productivity harmed, and energy dips)
• Damage relationships
• Erode trust between parties
• Be very distracting
• Be demoralizing

The negative impacts of ineffective communication cannot be understated. It is imperative to make every effort to ‘get it right’ because the literal and figurative losses can be immense.

5 fundamentals to more effective communication

Communication is not an exact science, and most certainly not a one-size-fits-all scenario. However, I believe there are some fundamentals that you can build into consistently raising your conscious awareness of the type and style of communication you want to have, identify what barriers may exist, execute on the communication, and enable an appropriate feedback model for continuous improvement. Below are some fundamentals you can use for more effective communications going forward:

1. Active Listening: Listening attentively is the foundation of effective communication. It shows respect and understanding towards the other person. If in person or via video conference, try to provide physical and verbal cues to show that you are engaged and listening. Avoid interrupting and truly focus on what the other person is saying. Sneak-a-peek: This will most likely be the sole topic of a future blog
2. Clear and Concise Messaging: Collect and collate your content and deliver your message in a clear and concise manner. Use simple language, avoid jargon, organize your thoughts beforehand, and use a delivery method commensurate for the audience and messaging
3. Empathy and Understanding: Put yourself in the receiver’s shoes and try to understand and respect their perspective. Show empathy by acknowledging their wants, needs, preferences, and feelings. This will help you build trust and foster more open dialogue
4. Non-Verbal Communication: As described above, remember that communication is not just about words. It is important to pay attention to your body language, posture, facial expressions, and gestures. Maintain an open posture, use appropriate hand movements, and smile genuinely (if appropriate to do so). Non-verbal cues can convey sincerity and enhance your overall messaging. Do not forget that you are being observed when visible. Ensure your non-verbal communication conveys what you want it to
5. Feedback and Clarification: This is so important. Encourage feedback and seek clarification to ensure effective communication before, during, and after the communication has taken place. Ask open-ended questions to gather more information and show genuine interest in making sure the messaging and intent was fully understood as intended. Paraphrase and summarize back to the sender what you have understood to help avoid misunderstandings

I’ve included a lot of information here, and each topic discussed could be an independent blog topic in and of itself. Appreciating that communication is key to navigating life is a solid start to committing to getting it right more often than you get it wrong. Effective communication is a journey, not a destination. Constant practice and honing your skills, including course correction when it does go wrong will make for a life journey filled with more openness and clarity, leaving more time for the good times rather than spending valuable time on after-the-fact damage limitation. Good luck!

I’m always open to a conversation on your thoughts, opinions, and experiences on this or any topic in the library. Get in touch by subscribing below, or by using the form on the Book Gary of the site.